Tuesday, December 21, 2010

:(

Finally realize that I cannot depend on you too. But it is just too late...

:(

:(

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Thank you....Amen...

Thank you for giving me the confidence and the courage to stand up for my team, for my rights, and for my project.

I didnt know I can defend my team as well as I did today if not for your support.

Even though you didnt say anything, your consistent confidence and moral support to me has given me the courage to stand up in front of more than 20 people today to present my case and try to get the buy in from all. Your silent protection have helped boost my courage and confidence which pushed me beyond any limits and have taken me to greater heights that I can ever imagine. Something that I have only thought I could, but never realised until today.

I dont think I will ever have the courage to do all these if not for the chance you have given me and your ability to let go and let me lead, explore and grow. I know I still have a long way to go and a lot to learn.... but these are the challenges which I have to face and with every obstacles that I resolve, brings me to a higher level of confidence, comfort and experience.

Thank you for seeing the potential in me and helping me realised my strengths and improve my weaknesses....

Thank you... Amen....

Friday, December 10, 2010

Same same

It's the same... always had been...

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

I am back...

Excerpt from batman:

Alfred Pennyworth: Why do we fall sir? So we might learn to pick ourselves up
Bruce Wayne: You still haven't given up on me?
Alfred Pennyworth: Never


Thank you for not giving up hope on me. I will bounce back... With leaps and bounds.. *all smiles*

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

When are you coming back ? Miss you la..

What happened to the happy go lucky cheerful girl I once knew?
Where is your smiles and your contagious laughter?
Where are those happy carefree days?
Where are the dreams and the hot summer nights and rainbow filled days?

When are you coming back ?

I miss you...

Monday, November 15, 2010

Moving on....

And Moving forward...

New Challenge - Gen Y

How do you motivate a staff who:

1) would like to be spoon fed
2) is a gen-Y and thinks that you owe them a living even though they have no business experience or technical background
3) wants to have high remuneration package and yet do not want to put in effort to earn their worth.
4) do not want to learn things from end-to-end but would rather take the easy way out and ask if there's a short cut - (*without business knowledge or technical expertise, it's very difficult to bluff your way through la, dear... Even amateurs like me can see right through your shenanigans.)
5) demands to work on a 9-5 basis only but yet do not want to be viewed as merely a clerical. (want to be regarded as professional it seems)
6) thinks that you are too restrictive when you do not allow access to Facebook, MSN chats and webmail services. (Actually, I am very liberal. If you can justify your need for these services in relations to your job efficiency and effectiveness improvement, by all means, please apply and I shall approve accordingly).

It's pretty worrying to see that in this competitive world, where we not only need to compete with peers but also machines, there are still people out there who thinks that they do not need to work hard to prove their worth.

While I know that if you have such staff, you also would like to slap her to wake her up, we cannot do that. We have to handle the case professionally.

First of all, we would need to ensure she understands her job scope or job description. It is important to discuss the job expectations with your staff in relations to the KPI to ensure she does not lose focus in her job.

Also, ensure she understands her career path on why she needs to learn from end-to-end. (I have already tried this but beware that a sly and lazy person will try to wriggle themselves out of every hard work where necessary. Thus it's important to put in the right amounts of control checks like milestones or checkpoints).

Engage her in her responsibilities in explaining to her that the importance of on the job training and the importance of learning end to end. Every staff have to know that they are part of the complex wheels that turns the company. Every staff is a cog in the company's wheels and as they fit, mesh together and work with other cogs, they can generate enormous power to turn the wheels of the giant machine called company. Let them understand the goals of the company, the division, the section, the team, down to the level of individual team members. All of the goals and objectives must be in line with each other and each supporting its own and the higher level.

The real challenge is to instill the basic value and underlining self motivation into the individual. They must understand that despite how much potential they have in them, it doesn't count if they are not willing to do the difficult, mundane and repetitive daily tasks that are essential to success. Yes, it's difficult to instill humility in an individual, but that's the challenge we have to face today with the gen-Y.

The above 3 things are important factors to ensure you are covered in the old management style perpective especially if your HR is still of the baby boomers generation. One thing we need to understand about the gen-Y is that they have a higher comfort level whereby most graduates nowadays move back to stay with their parents and don't really have the urgency to carve a career path and working is not a survival need, affording them the luxury to choose a job that they truly enjoy. So motivating them with only money is not enough.

They want to have fun at work and if it's fun, money and time spent at the office is not really a problem. Gen-Ys enjoy challenges, are face paced and want to learn new stuffs all the time. So to motivate them, we have to make our work environment fun and a place to hang out, i.e. Google makes its office environment so comfortable that you can literally stay there without going home.

These are some basic traits of gen-Y so that you can identify whether the staff is just plain lazy or the complains are the true manifestation of a disguntled gen-Y.

Good luck and let's have some fun in managing the gen-Y. hahaha.

~ viewed from the eyes of a hybrid of gen-X and gen-Y.

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Moodless in the cradle

Don't know why ... Just feel the absence of any mood ... Thus mood less.. haha... Moodless is not even a word... But I don't know how to describe the feeling of an absence of any feeling... Not moody because that will mean I am unhappy with something .. But no, I m not unhappy .., just normal I guess ... Hahaha.... Well, feels good to be normal instead of being constantly ecstatic all the time (aka crazy!) ... Hahaha ... Have a nice day 

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Apple of my "i"


Can't help but blog about iPhone again. Apple makes me fall in love over and over again. And it's a great feeling.....I remember professing my love shamelessly towards the imac a couple of years back and now I am in love with the mini version of the powerful machine. Just cant help it... they are so sleek and suave and smooth .... Just can't resist the apple of my "i"... just have to be with it, touch it at every opportunity that I have.

Excuse me.. but I have to go entertain my iPhone.... (he entertains me, i entertain back... that's how reciprocrative our relationship is... which is why it's so fulfilling and so heavenly... Steve Jobs really creates miracles... the more we love our iPhones, the more it will love us back and keep us happy... :)

Can't contain my feelings any longer.... "I love you, you are the apple of my i... :) Muaks..."




Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Best Day Of My Life



Thanks for making today one of the best days of my life.... *winks*.... It feels like heaven on earth...I shall remember it forever and ever.... tattooed in my heart ... :)

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Me and my new love



Welcome to the world of buying accessories, accessories and more accessories.. .

Let's start with a screen protector - Has to be fingerprintless type and has security features.

Then a casing to protect the sides from scratches
Then a pouch or sleeve to ensure total protection when you put in your pockets or bags (in case your car keys scratches the smooth exterior)
Then another pouch to suit another occassion (you cannot wear the same shirt everyday right?)
...Then an extra charger for home, the other for office (too cumbersome to bring adapter here and there...)
Then an extra sync cable for times when you are mobile
Then a car charger just in case you run out of battery
Then a aux cable to connect to your car audio system to play music from your iphone in your car
Then a mobile charger (extra juice) to ensure you have enough battery on the go.

The above are only the absolute necessary...the other luxuries can go on like a docking system for your house audio video system, a wifi sync system for downloading songs, changing your car audio system to enable fittings of iphone into the car if your current system is not "iphone ready" etc... and the list goes on until you finally need to buy a new BMW to match your iphone.. :)

Better get started soon... I am already ahead of you a few steps towards getting my BMW... ahahhaha

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Blogging from IPhone!

OMG! How cool is technology? Wayyyyyy cool! I am very impressed with this small powerful piece of gadget called iPhone! It's simply AMAZING! I can truly call myself a mobile user now. I am writing this from my iPhone. And the best part is, the response time is pretty fast! So, moving forward, I can write down my ideas immediately in blogspot instead of scribbling notes everywhere.

I guess this really is a worthwhile investment. It can bring a lot of joy to online addicts hahaha

Alright, keeping it short and simple as I can't wait to post my first blog with my iPhone !

•guess I mentioned the word iPhone many times in this article. Can't help it.... Think I am in love....

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Maaf Zahir dan Batin

Got this message in a forwarded email which a certain JackDS forwarded to a yahoogroup. I don't know him, and also don't know the original writer for this poem, thus I don't know who the credit should goes to. However, I think it's very appropriate for this Hari Raya. Just want to take the opportunity to wish all my friends a Happy Hari Raya and Maaf, Zahir dan Batin.

Ampun dan maaf andainya saya ini...

Terkasar bahasa dalam bicara

Tersilap bicara semasa bersama

Termarah yang tak kena tempatnya

Tertanya tak tentu hala ..

Tersasul yang tak sengaja

Terpukul kat mana-mana

Terpekik kuat di telinga

Terhantuk terketuk di kepala

Terpinjam terambil harta & benda

Termoody tak semena-mena

Terumpat bila ada cerita,

Teremail benda yang tak sepatutnya awak terima

Termacam-macam yang kena-mengena..,,

Di hari yang mulia sepuluh jari ku hulurkan semua,

Memohon kemaafan atas segala dosa yang ada

Kerana saya masih bernama manusia

Pastinya tak lepas membuat dosa

Semoga dimaafkan,

Salam Aidil Fitri Maaf Zahir & Batin

Thursday, September 02, 2010

The Power of English

English is a wonderful language... you can upset people unknowingly or scold some people but yet they feel happy about it ... it all boils down to the puns, or idioms that you use to express yourself...

No brainer by definition, means...."Something so simple or easy as to require no thought" .... When I said that a report is a no brainer (meaning to say it's a good report that does not require further thought to decipher), a colleague from another department went crying thinking that I scolded her that she has no brains... Hahaha.. A compliment to the report turned sour...

And then, when I scolded someone Smart Alec, that person was HAPPY, thinking that I complimented him for being SMART... hahaha...

Such are the oxy morons of English... And just to be clear, I am not implying that anyone is a "moron"... An oxymoron is a figure of speech that combines normally-contradictory terms (2 words with opposite meanings forming a meaningful word), such as pretty ugly, or deafening silence.

So, you can see, it is useful that you master English... it can be a very powerful communication tool indeed.

=================================================================================
If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size? ~Sydney J. Harris

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Managing people


Managing People.... as people comes in all shapes and sizes (meaning all different kinds of characters, behaviours, attitude and office cultural background) it is one of the most difficult but most crucial aspect in an organisation. An organisation is made up of its people, thus managing people is unavoidable.

Nobody can see in the eyes of management until they have sat in the hot seat of "management". All my previous theory in management has not equiped me with all the experience required in managing people. Well, this is good as it means I still have much to learn and much more room to grow... :) And being young means I am allowed to make some mistakes here and there as long as the lesson came with it.. :)

Isn't life full of surprises and challenges which makes it sooo much more colourful... ?

Having said that, I find it easier to work with male conterparts as they, (irregardless of ranks), tend to be more logical, systematical, fast, direct and less petty in their daily dealings. They tend to be less emotional and make their judgements and decisions base on facts and logic rather than depending on feelings and gut feel. Yes, being a female, I admit to generally making the same gender prone, hormone induced mistakes. However, I try hard to think like a man....
Ok...ok..... Not wanting to risk being labelled as gender biased, let's have the following pictures do the talking... :)



pictures sourced from Zits comic archive http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20040101&name=Zits

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Management 101: Self Motivation

How do you motivate people to take responsibility for their work and also things that are not even in their job scope and to make them do it willingly and whole heartedly .... taking the lead and taking all responsibilities and accountability from head to toe, from documentation, reporting and updates while ensuring quality on spec on time... ?

A big question mark. Tough but still not impossible.... I have seen many self motivated people out there working way beyond their call of duty and while occasionally grumble and grunt but still get the job done with pure heart and soul.

Self motivation is very important as you go up as your bosses no longer have the time to spoon feed you with motivation. I mean, look at all the top management. You think the CEO have time to sit down and motivate them slowly? At their level, motivation is easy as most of the top management already have their self agenda and targets and are motivated by actualising their personal targets which usually they will try to align to the CEO's target to get where they are...

At our lower level, well, we just need to find the motivation factor that can give us the passion to do our work and that very passion will spur us to walk that extra mile, take the extra weight and push extra harder....

And then you will need to try to identify what motivates your staff.... now that's the challenge because not everyone is at the maturity level to be self motivated. They are motivated by various factors such as money, good working environment, career path etc etc... So it's our job to help them identify their goals and motivate or guide them accordingly.

A big task... easier said than done... I am still learning this skill too.... Care to give a pointer or two?

Sunday, August 22, 2010

More management lessons - Looking Up, Down, Left, Right, Centre

All my life I have been taught to LOOK UP...

1) Look up, reach for the stars, so that you wont end up with a handful of sand...
2) Look up to people and respect them....,
3) Look up to role models, follow their footsteps to success...
4) Look up, heads up, look ahead and think ahead...
5) even in IT, we have to lookup tables...

However, I now realise, it's equally important to look down as well. Yes, look down and see your people. Look down to see where you came from and learn from both your success and your mistakes. I am in middle management now... so it's equally necessary to look both Up and Down. I have to look up to follow the footsteps of senior management and I have to look down upon my staff to ensure that they are taken care of. I have to ensure that they are comfortable and happy with their environment and with "woman on top". :)

*Note: it's not looking down ON them but looking down TO SEE them....y'know, the "I see you" ala Avatar style...

For example, the working environment have to be kept clean and healthy and functional to ensure staff grousing are kept to the minimal. Staff welfare is utmost important for management because that's their essential job scope, which is to be responsible for your staff. Yes, the responsibility spreads wider than just the daily operational work but also include office ergonomics to ensure everyone has good fit in the working environment which will make work safer, healthier and more productive and eventually lead to happier and more productive staff...

So I learnt that I need to check on whether their cubicles are ergonimical, or if they have enough office supplies, whether the lights are bright enough, whether there's clean water supply, provide a comfortable and convenient pantry (**) , and most of all, ensure a fully functional, hygienic washroom.

** You may be surprised by this research findings but pantry is one of the most important office areas (next to corridors and elevators) as it provides a relaxed avenue for creative ideas exchange and team building. Thus you see Google and Microsoft spending on building nice, comfortable pantries for their staff.

So there...the take home note is ...remember to look up and look down.... and of course, don't forget the age-old lesson which you teach every child....to look left, right and left again... you must look-to, look-for and look-out for your peers as well.. ;) *wink*


Saturday, July 24, 2010

Self Reflect

A lot of things happened within these 3 months. A lot of things are positive and contribute a lot to my personal growth. However, nothing is always as rosy as we want it to be. We carved a comfortable path for all to thread on. The path is clear and beautiful but along the way, people may steal some flowers from your lawn... But that's life... there's bound to be some set backs and hiccups... which makes the experience more challenging, more colourful, more complete which helps build our character and gives us an opportunity to create legends and stories we can tell to touch our kids and grand kids....who will in turn be proud to tell their kids and grand kids and generation to come.

I take responsibilities for things that happen... and I tend to analyse it a lot especially when it concerns me, to see what I could've done better to make the outcome more positive. I'd like to learn from the situation and better myself in the process. So now it's time for self reflect.. and see how I can do things better... Will update more when I find myself...

Friday, July 23, 2010

Practical Management 101: Maturity level

To groom someone to become a manager, you must first identify their maturity level. This maturity level here doesn't direct correspond with age. It doesnt mean older is wiser in management. It's the amount of exposure and experience a certain mind has gone through before the mind has mature to the management level to understand why certain management decisions are made.

When my friends and I first started work, fresh out of school and all naive, we used to play more than we worked. Of course, there was the usual gossip/grousing against "management" and the boss. We used to hate our bosses coming into the room during our gossip sessions... until one young girl (who also gossiped with us), maybe 18, told us off, by reprimanding "Of course the boss have to be strict with us. Don't expect the boss to come gossip with us to encourage us not to work. The company will "chup lup" (fold) lor..."

She was way matured for her age to be able to think for the bosses. True enough, with her maturity level, it was quick for her to rise the corporate ladder, being a manager after 1.5 years.

Sometimes you see some people become "pets" of bosses.... mostly because these "pets" have matured to a level where they know what the management likes and is able to act before the management tells them what to do ... (actually it applies outside the office as well... Try pre-empting what your spouse wants to eat and prepare that for dinner, or give your partner a massage before he/she ask for it on a day when he/she is tired..... I am sure you will become the apple of your partner's eye and guarantee to reap very positive results *wink* *wink*)

So if you can think like your bosses, then you have somewhat reach a certain management maturity level. If you can think FOR your bosses, you have reached an even higher management maturity level. If you can think of SOLUTIONS FOR your bosses... then... you know.. you are close to taking over your boss ahhahaah...

Moral is... to groom someone to fill certain shoes (positions)...select your candidate carefully, first you need to see his appetite to the task (appetite will determine the drive and motivation) and check his maturity level. The last thing you want is to promote someone who will bite you on the hands just when you need him the most... Ensure your staff's maturity level is there where you want it, and develop it accordingly to ensure high standard level of the delieverables.

If the staff has no heart or no appetite and haven't mature to the management level, then just forget it. Dont waste time on grooming him, as you can never teach an old dog new tricks.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

BW


Was being bogged with a terribly hard puzzle last week. Something that made me wonder hard and long… and made several of my colleagues thought hard and long too. Almost cannot eat and sleep thinking about it.. ahhaha Exaggerated a little…

You see, there’s a floor in our building that is labeled as BW in our elevators. I am new to the building and I was intrigued by the BW on the lift. Several inquiries fell onto deaf ears as nobody knows what “BW” stands for. I asked my best friend Mr Google and he too drew blanks. I was told that BW stands for Barang Wilayah, Black and White, in BetWeen, BaWah and other such nonsense. And the funny thing was, I was told that it was a “ghost floor”. Every building comes with its ghost stories but this one takes the cake. She told me wide eyed with all honesty, “Really geh…. There’s one floor nobody dares to go to. And it is not accessible also. Go ask Gavin and the operators and see… and they will tell you all kinds of stories… “

Just so happen, I called a dear friend from MBA classes the other day to catch up... Coincidentally, he worked in the same building before 10 years back... and told me that.... BW .... stands for..... Breeze Way...

Why Breeze way? Well, it's because that part of the building is open air and the corridor serves like an airwell which welcomes a flow of breeze to ventilate that floor... thus, Breeze way lor...

Hahaha...

Another mystery is history….

Monday, June 14, 2010

Relativity Concept

Everything is relative... I watched 3 movies today, Jennifer's Body, Bounty Hunter and New Moon... And even though New Moon wasn't like drop dead good with lots of loose ends, somehow, after 2 bad movies, New Moon seems like "Wow, this is great romantic stuff... I like..." .... So if you wanna look good, try the relative concept.. Stand next to losers :P

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Thank God for the internet...

Probably have internet withdrawal symptoms.. havent been well since yesterday...

And so coincidentally my streamyx was down...

Luckily I have recently converted my mobile phone line to an unlimited data plan.... so I am able to connect to the internet via my mobile phone..

Incidentally, once I got my connection back via mobile phone, I don't feel so sick anymore....In fact, the doctor also couldn't find anything wrong with me....

Thank God for technology... now, everyone can stay connected with everyone through the www. Cool...

(btw, just in case you are wondering, today is a public holiday and thus, no.. I didn't go to a doctor just to get MC)

Monday, May 24, 2010

life is all about learning - another first today...

Had my first taste of interviewing and picking staff today. And guess what? My first candidate is a gwai lo ... lucky me... hahaha...

Well, he was from Iran.. big, tall and handsome... but ... didn't have enough technical skills to carry him through... I do look for brains over brawns.. .hahaha... No offense... We didn't make it a difficult interview but we just want to ensure the people who come in can start work immediately.

Anyway, the second candidate, a sweet honest lady was much better and we decided to give her a try...

Well, I learnt how to gauge people from their first looks and how they answer questions ... pleasant... and I guess I still have to do a lot more of these.. There's also the price negotiations skills which I have yet to learn... One step at a time....

Monday, May 17, 2010

Reach for the stars

Just my 3rd week and I feel that I have undergone more training than 3 years if I were to stay in previous company.

I am attending Java training now,... a programming tool just to equip ourselves with the basic Java knowledge since the fundamental language used to write the core system prorgams here is Java.

There's so much to learn here... and I am given the opportunity to learn from the best players of the industry.... imagine, the CEO meets with us to touch base with us and plays an active role in giving input and feedbacks on most projects. Awesome.. I get to see how management works, how they brainstorm. Yes, I know I have to learn fast, so that I can spread my wings to fly on my own... but I know that the correct guidance and appropriate training is available for me to tap on.

And I also get a taste on how other functional areas works as we all work closely together. I even get to see how the sales do their work and also have a taste of the work of a PA... These job functions are usually not available for my viewing due to the back room nature of my work. Now, I get to see what they do and how they operate (or how they entertain ... hahaha).. .

There's so much to learn... let us all reach for the stars...... When you reach for the stars, even if you don't always end up getting a star, at least you will not end up with a hand full of dirt. - (adapted from Leo Burnett)

Lego

Lego... They are such wonderful inventions...

So creative and so educational ... and so meaningful...

Each piece is a building block to the entire complete structure. No piece is too small ... all are important...

Bryan finished building his T-rex today (Allosaur which he promptly corrected me as it has 3 fingers), and he proudly paraded it to us... When we finally goes to bed, he bid litte Allosaurus good night... :) Such a cute gesture... He must be really proud to be able to conquer the T-rex ...with little help ..

Anyway, I am slowly putting the pieces of my new career together.... sort of like building up my own lego as well... Let's hope I can tame my T-rex just as easy as Bryan.. :)

Happy Birthday Bryan... :)

Monday, April 26, 2010

The on-boarding experience was great.. :)



The experience today was superb....

Was anxious initailly like all first timers would be...

But with the help of some caring friends, super efficient IT and a diligent HR... the on-boarding experience was a very very pleasant one.

For one, the traffic had been kind... reached there in record time at 7:45am. 40 minutes from home at peak hour... that's a feat that was thought to be impossible in the past... Well, guess it's just the right omen to encourage me to do what initially is thought to be the impossible.

Then parking was a breeze. And all the arrangements that was to be done, was done within minutes... as HR has done the necessary arrangements prior to my arrival. HR and IT was very efficient whereby my "ghastly" morning-face photo was prompty taken and a temporary pass was immediately issued to enable immediate access to the company. I was made to feel that I am part of the company immediately. My email access, login ID, telephone extension, and even business card was all ready for me on my first day!

Breakfast was a bit of a let down though, without half boiled eggs and toast... Well, nothing can be that perfect.. :) hahaha

And then I have to comment that the lift service was superb. You must understand why this impressed me .... Many employees in my previous company was in fear of being trap in a lift with 20 others. We had to live with this fear for more than a year because of the maintenance works done on those ancient elevators in the old building. The maintenance works is still on-going until the end of the year.

Another thing I liked about the building/company is the 'ladies'... which is situated within the office, i.e. one must have access through the security door before having access to the ladies. This company does put the safety of ladies first.


Then just when I thought lunch was going to be lonely (MC was on MC, (an ex-colleague whom I thought could be my regular lunch) while the rest had business lunch arrangements), my immediate boss treated the team to a nice cozy lunch.

And to top all these great happenings (sugarry sweet with cherry on top), I found a bouquet of flowers on my chair as I returned to my seat... It was such nice sweet gesture which really made my day... (Wei Keyman.. Never expect to claim my bet today... it was great timing.. Thank you sooo much... you are indeed a man who honour his words.. err.. .bets... ahahaha)

Of course I do understand that the road ahead is not all rosy and there's a lot to shoulder and to bear... but more friends make light work... As keyman once told me, didn't realise 10 years flew by, because I was too busy enjoying working with the team...

So here's to brighter, rosier days ahead.. :) Cheers...

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Excited...


Yes... excited is the word I have been looking for...

Have been excited quite some time.. and tomorrow is the start of a brand new day... brand new breathe of fresh air... brand new me... at a brand new place... (pun intended as they just did a rebranding this year ahahha... so its 'brand' is new... hahaha)

Yes, I know the road ahead is not all rosy... but I am looking forward to taking that new step on that new road and face all the new faces and new things along the way.... I will try my best to enjoy the new journey.... And leave the rest to God...

Maybe I really am a workaholic.... hahaha

Wish me luck... :)

"May we all find the serenity to accept things we cannot change and the courage to change the things we can and have the wisdom to know the difference... "

~ adapted from the Serenity Prayer, Alcoholic Anonymous...


Picture source from William Warren @ GetLiberty.org archives

Friday, April 23, 2010

Smile, where have you gone?


This is the story of the girl,
Who cried a river and drown the whole world
Why she looked so sad, in photographs
I absolutely loved her... when she smiles....


... Absolutely (Story of a girl), sung by Nine Days... (2000, The Madding Crowd Album)

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Pawn-der

I am just a pawn... The Kings tells me that I am special... but in actual fact, all are just selfish in their intentions... and just feeding me with just a decent meal... without fancy trimmings... while others non-deserving minions get to eat meals fit for Kings...

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Busted leg, wasted night

That's it...!!!

I am keeping it dry! High and dry!!!

It's been more than 2 weeks since the Manchester United vs Liverpool game (21st March 2010) and my wound still hasn't healed. No, I am not bleeding for Liverpool due to their 1-2 loss, (I am a MU fan by the way.. :P)

I am talking about my wounded feet... Yea, I hurt my leg again... This time it's the right leg. What happened was a little stupid but I guess everyone can learn something from my silliness, so here's the story...

T'was a dark, cold and rainy night, but we brave the winds, chills and wetness to get to the game. It was the match of the year, or so they tell me. It was held in Sunway Amphitheatre... a nice stage hidden in the secluded areas of the Sunway woods, unknown to yours truly. I cannot imagine living in PJ for umpteen years and not knowing that there's an amphitheatre in Sunway.

Anyway, it was raining and the path to the amphitheatre is long, wet and winding. As I quickened my footsteps, I stepped on the slippery road bump and slided. "Wheee....!!!", I went, and not in the pleasant way... And next thing I know, I was doing a split on the slimmy tar road. As there were throngs of people trying to make their way to the amphitheater, yours truly got up promptly and gracefully, quickly gathered her composure and went forward on her way...pretending nothing has happened when in fact, blood was flowing profusely from her knees and feet. All these was thanks to the decision of wearing crocs slippers instead of sports shoes....

What happened next was like a numb travel through the passage of time where I couldn't enjoy the rest of the game..... worrying how my legs are going to heal... And that's not the worse thing. Walking back miles and miles (that's what it felt like with a wounded limb) to the car park in the rain and getting stuck for 30 minutes (no joke!) in the car park as there were too many cars exiting at the same time. Busted leg, wasted night...

Umm important lesson learnt was: don't wear crocs slippers on a wet slippery day... and don't make haste on a wet day, else you will make more waste...

Hmm come to think of it, I have been having bouts of pains lately, especially after I tendered my "splitting" intention. Suffering from a severe wisdom toothache recently, with swollen throat and gums and splitting headache pains... And then leg infection after that "graceful split"... Hmmm, wondering who is cursing me ahahha.... stop cursing me please... your blessing is important to me... :)

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Your blessings is important to me.

As I read my previous post, it does sound like some grousing of a dissatisfied employee, cursing the whole world and lamenting on his own poor life. Actually, I am not complaining nor angry. I know complaning is useless and retaliation is futile. I'd like to think I am just taking a positive step towards solving my issues before it's too late. (We've always been taught to solve our own problems anyway). I am not leaving because I am unhappy. I just want to be happier. :) hahaha But really...I just want to take up an opportunity in a new environment before I get too old or too complacent.

Opportunity don't knock on a daily basis and I was taught to seize the day and grab the bull by its horns. Yes, I will be facing a lot of uncertainties but it will be a challenge that I have to take.

Wish me all the best and I really hope to go with your blessings rather than being cursed. I sincerely wish all of us success and happiness in everything we do.

Breaking off


As I updated my resume, I feel extremely sad. Embarassed actually. During my last 10 loyal years with my current company, I noticed that the company didn't really develope me. My professional/technical training column remains almost the same as it was 10 years ago. So there was no accolades to show or anything to shout about if the new employer interviews me on personal or technical development. And I have to pray that they don't delve into this department of my resume which luckily, they really didn't. How pathetic is that!!

Can you imagine, during my short stint of 6 months in a vendor company prior to my current job, I was given 3 trainings to equip me with facing a very difficult project and a very difficult customer (Citibank). 3 trainings in 6 months compared to 0 in 10 year. My point was, that company was willing to develope their staff as a person. They are willing to give as much as they are taking from us. Ok, you may wonder why I left the vendor company if it has developed me so well. Umm, there was another complicated issue back then... and the reason I left was purely personal and has nothing to do with the company. :)

I have always been a simple person. I dont ask for much, have always been nice and giving. Thus has always been the victim of being short changed. But I didnt mind as Mom always brought me up to be optimistic and be humble and be thankful for what I have. And that's why I have been just thankful for last 10 years. In other words, I am turning complacent.

And that's the last thing I want to be. I mean, c'mon, I'm still young. The road ahead of me is still long. I can't start to be complacent now. And because I wasnt much of a trouble maker and practically a workhorse, my current company thinks that I am docile. And as such, they have been happily torturing me for the last 5 years, thinking I will grow old with them as a good old obedient horse. It's worse when we see horses that seem to work less from the next stable being fed better grass only because they make more noise

The company have to understand that staff are human beings, not robot and feeds on the social biscuit just the same. And to eat that social biscuit, we need money to buy it first. So if they cannot send me for trainings, it's ok, please pay me well enough and I will go for the trainings myself. And it was my own intiative to do the MBA ... with my own money. I know that my company harps on the benefits of on-the-job training rather than professional training but seriously, they need to realise that there needs to be a balance. To have better quality work, fresh ideas and a more professional perspective and attitude towards the job, we have to inject some good professional training into the company's staff. The level of professionalism needs to be upgraded with injection of outside ideas and dynamic teachings, in order not to breed a dead pool of complacent staff.

Maybe I cannot blame my superiors because they are training me the way they best know how because they themselves do not have proper trainings themselves.

I have invested 10 years of my youth in a company that was unwilling (or forgot?) to invest in me. Perhaps they were afraid that I might leave after training me. This is so shallow of them. I have shown them again and again how passionate I was with my job with my commitment to delivery and acceptance to change without complains. And they should know by now that if I am passionate about something, I can put 101% of dedication to the issue to achieve amazing results. Toastmaster itself has helped shown this side of me but alas, management doesn't recognises this. And because of that, I have lost my passion for toasting and have resigned from the toastmaster's club. It' a shame I know, but what's the point of doing it when your heart is not there

As such, it's time to think for myself again, as the company won't think for me. Time to move on to something more concrete than holding on to empty promises. I do not have another 10 years of youth to waste. Actually, it's much like a boy-girl relationship. Why do people break off? There are many factors, but essentially, it's because one or both parties are not getting what they want from the relationship and don't see the potential to reap what they sow...and all these small small depressed feelings will eventually turn into unhappiness which will stress the relationship.

Breaking off with the company is much less complicated that a relationship breakoff but the essense is similar and no less painful. There will be a lot of reasons but there is only one result - which is going separate ways. How, where to, why, what happened and who instigated is all immaterial as everything that can be done should have happened during that 10 years and not when one party become so stressed out that they have to call it quits.

As I walk to office with a heavy heart on Monday, (as usual, breaking off carries a lot of guilt especially with a such a long term relationship), I have to remind myself that I have to be proud that I am finally taking this brave step and doing something for myself and my own future.

Atta girl... pat yourself on the back.. :)

*Breath a sigh of relieve.....*

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Jokes

Little b is picking up on telling silly jokes nowadays.

He came to ask me suddenly, "Mom, why do gorilla have big nostrils?"
Then he answered by himself, "Because they have big fingers!" and went on to laugh a hearty laugh and I cannot help but laugh at his clownish antics..

He went on to ask, "What kind of nuts are not hard?"
"A donut! Wohahahahaha...Get it? A doNUT. Oooohahhahaaha."

Little b picked up all these jokes from the Cartoon Network and was practising them on me... he even wrote them down in his own "joke book", which was made-shift from one of his school exercise book.... I found that exercise book on his desk when I came home one night and did my routine check on his bag. It immediately brought a smile to my weary face.. :)

Anyway, Michael Schumacher is made his comeback in a Mercedes on the F1 race track today. It's big news on the race track in Bahrain as he managed to clinch the 7th place on the grid, the same starting position as his debut race at Spa, Belgium in 1991. Everyone is expecting some kind of magic from this seven-time champion.

Yes, it's big news alright... but I was busy washing the dishes when the race was about to start. So Big B asks little b to convey the message about Michael Schumacher's comeback to me.

Big B said, "Go tell mommy that Michael Schumacher is back."

Little b obeyed the instruction with a quick "Okay!" and proceeded to dash high speed towards the kitchen while yelling, "Mom, Michael Jackson is BAD!" ....

I couldn't help but laugh at silly little b... That was one of his funniest jokes yet... :) And the best thing was, he told it with a straight face. Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrhahahahaa...



Saturday, January 16, 2010

It's the Company that counts

Went for a poon choy dinner yesterday at a small village in Sg Buloh... The place is called Restaurant LYJ. If you do not have GPS, I think it's easy to get lost in that area especially if you are not familiar.

And it wasn't a pleasant experience at all because:

1) Traffic Jam. Even though we had carefully planned to delay our meal time from 7 to 8:30 to avoid the Friday jam, we were stuck right before the NKVE toll and the jam stretched for about 2 km. Try being hungry and stuck in what seemed to be an endless jam... and you'd know what i mean.

2) We were running out of fuel. We were so near yet so far, we were unable to get to Shell station which was located just after the toll due to the jam, (since the GPS says that our destination is only 6km away, we thought we could make it to the next petrol station as we were unaware of the stretch of jam ahead) and we had to check and recheck the GPS to see if there were another petrol station nearby. When we finally reached the petrol station, the petrol station's systems were all down. Bummer. Had to queue up for manual service.

3) The roads towards the restaurant were so narrow but the cars were driving like they are on a highway!

4) There were no more parking in front or nearby the restaurant. Had to park quite a distance away.

5) When I stepped out of the car, me with my open toe sandals went right into a puddle of dirty water.

6) As we tried to cross the road towards the restaurant, we nearly got hit by the cars which were driving at highway speed on a very narrow road that has cars doubled parked on both sides. Yep, we nearly got hit..... twice... (it was a 2 way street or should I say highway) !!!!!

7) The washroom was unisex but the toilet cubicles were wet (flooded is a more appropriate word). So I had to clean my wet leg outside the cubicles. Had to hurriedly clean up so that no one will see the ugly sight of a girl in mini skirt wiping her legs... yuks. Surely lose appetite when you see. hahaha.

8) The restaurant was sooo busy and noisy. It was a full house yesterday night and so you can imagine the noise level. We could hardly hear each other speak. Felt rude as I shouted "THANK YOU!!" (a few times) when tea was served to me.

However, we still had a lot of laughters (especially when we fight for the "jewels" in the pot) and the food was good for the price we paid. Only RM32 per person even though all 8 "hungry ghosts" were very very full after the dinner. And there were enough leftovers for Marianne.

Despite all the unpleasantries, when I reminisce the night now to write this blog, it is with a warm and funfilled feeling.

And so I can conclude that, it's not so much the food, the place, and the price. It is the company that counts.


Viva la Company! :)

Monday, January 11, 2010

2 is better than 1

There's this new song, 2 is better than 1..... Sung by Boys like girls featuring Taylor Swift..... I think it's nice...and sweet...... Give it a listen...

(Actually I wanna say, it rocks and it's awesome.... but then after listening for a while, I thought of Vege's conversation with Keyman...... as follows... and my appetite was ruined...)


SourVege: Keyman, remember for me that this download file,ABC1234 is for (some stupid reason)...

Keyman: What for want to remember? You remember lar.

SourVege: 2 people remember better than 1 mar..

Keyman: What stupid idea is that.... Don't want la. You write down in your own notebook lar... then can remember la.

SourVege: You write down in your notebook also la, so that you also can remember where to find ma.

Keyman: Don't want la. If like that also can forget, means not important. Then better don't have to remember.

SourVege: Jahat Jahat Jahat.

==================================================

But Keyman denies all the above. He says the conversation was between SourVege and MC as below:

SourVege : remember for me what color of panties I wear today, I don't 1 2 wear the same color again.....(some stupid reason)...

MC: What for want to remember? You remember lar.

SourVege: 2 people remember better than 1 mar..

MC: What stupid idea is that.... Don't want la. You write down in your own notebook lar... then can remember la.

SourVege: You write down in your notebook also la, so that you also can remember what color ma.

MC: Don't want la. If like that also can forget, better don't wear lah

SourVege: Jahat Jahat Jahat.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Colors of awareness

Why am I posting colors on my facebook status?

Many would wonder and in fact, facebook doesn't give any explanation. Facebook doesn't need to. It just serves as a powerful, far reaching, high traffic marketing tool. Nothing beats word-of-mouth as a better and more effective marketing tool. C'mon, how many times have we tried a product or changed brands because it is "highly recommended" by your friend, family etc.

Anyway, the color thingamagic is for good cause, so I just explain it here in my blog. There's a campaign to raise awareness about breast cancer and the female users of facebook are encouraged to update their status with a simple word ..... which is the color of their bra.

It is the hope of the US Cancer Cure foundation to raise awareness and educate or remind the women to check themselves often or get a mammogram because early detection can save lives. However, their spokesperson said that it wasnt them who started the facebook color craze. Even Business Week reports that they are unsure who came up with this idea.

So there you are, go update your status with all the beautiful colors...

Ok, I just updated my status with "black"... ;)

P/s. If you are not wearing any for the moment, update as *nude* .... I mean, guys.. don't think dirty.,...there are moments where you're on mobile upload and you're at the massage parlour, or hitting the showers at the gym or something... :P

Be aware, show you care...

Old batteries

Everytime I boot up my notebook, I get a warning message,"Your batteries are charging normally, but it is approaching the end of its usuable life." When I go off A/C, i.e. use it without the power cord, I get only around half an hour to an hour usage. Yes, that's a signal that I need new batteries or an alternative battery source.

Even my handphone, seems to have the same symptoms. My mobile comes with 2 batteries and they use to be able to last me more than a day each without recharge. Now, I wont be able to make/receive night calls if I don't change/recharge batteries in the afternoon. Yes, that's a signal that I need new batteries too...

Lately, I have been feeling very tired. I used to be able to make do with very little sleep...i.e I could go active a long time without A/C.... And I don't need afternoon naps to recharge...Yea, I was like the Energizer Bunny - going on and on and on...... but these couple of days, I doze off in front of the laptop at around 11pm ...

Hmmm... a signal that I need a new battery/energy source too?


Photos courtesy of Dreamstime.