Confinement Blues - 19/6/2002

Tired would be in most women minds after labour. A little relieve maybe. I, however, was wide alert. I quickly ordered my husband to take pictures of baby Bryan. I also made sure he followed baby Bryan in case he got mixed up with the 11 other babies in the nursery. There was still enough strength left for me to ask the doctor how many stitches I have had after the episiotomy and the nurse whether I had passed motioned while pushing.

Soon after, my exhausted body took over my enthusiastic mind and I collapsed into deep slumber. The last thing I remembered was my husband taking pictures of me; shivering and disheveled. I woke to the whispers of my mother in law, her sister and my younger sister-in-law. That marks the beginning of my confinement period. On the hospital table was a tiffin full of yellow wine chicken. Being courteous, I picked up my weary self to welcome their arrival. Orders were quickly passed for the sister-in-law to bring the wine for me to drink. I was instructed to finish the wine while it was hot. And hot it really was, and spicy too, due to the large amount of ginger. Ginger is supposed to relieve the weak postpartum body of wind. I must have been really hungry, as I manage to finish a whole bowl of wine and I ate the chicken too. In fact, I could have finished more if not for fatigue and the uncomfortable eating position (I am not used to meals in bed!).

The first few days of confinement in the hospital passed by quite smoothly with me getting enough rest and assured that the baby was in good hands in the nursery next to my room. My baby didn’t give me much of a problem except for being lazy at getting his food. He prefers being bottle fed to doing the hard work of getting it directly from my breast. I didn’t think much of this until engorgement kicks in on the third day. After telling the nurse about my discomfort carrying two big packages of milk, she gave me two pieces of frozen cabbage leaves to ease the swelling. When the morning came, I was handed a manual pump the express the overflowing milk. Since baby doesn’t want to do the hard work, mommy has to do it.

Baby and I were fit enough for discharge on the fourth day and the confinement lady (an experienced babysitter hired for a month to take care of the baby and the postpartum mother) and my mother in law was there to greet me as I stepped into my house. Home sweet home. Home seems different, as Hubby has cleaned it up while I was at the hospital. Smells different too. The confinement lady or Aunty as we call her, has started to boil the red dates juice and ginger water. The red dates juice is to be drunk over the whole confinement period of a month while the ginger water is used for bathing. I was forewarned not to drink any plain water, especially cold water, so that I will not catch a cold. My postpartum body was still weak and could easily fall ill. I was to drink only the red dates juice, Milo, wine and herbal soup.

It was consider taboo to stand up whenever I consume anything. I must be seated whenever I eat or drink any of the above mentioned. My sister in law even said that it would be best if I could eat or drink while lying down. This as they say, would prevent bowels and prostate problems during my elderly years. Well-meaning relatives would also remind me of this taboo whenever they call to congratulate me. They usually would quote an instance of a friend or a relative, who did not conform to the taboo, has the misfortune of having problems with going to the washroom in their later years. I quickly obliged, as I was afraid that I might become one of the examples when they relate this taboo to others.

There were a lot of restrictions on food too. I have to consume tons and tons of ginger, kidneys, wine, “muk yue” (black fungi) and sesame oil. I am not a fan of spicy food and I get rashes when I drink wine, so imagine the torture of having to eat these for the whole month. I was petrified at the thought of confinement period during pregnancy as I don’t like ginger at all. Luckily, Aunty is a good cook and she alternate and fabricate the ginger into something that is appetizing to me. One day she would slice the ginger, and another day she would fry it into crispy strips and yet another would be diced into tiny cubes. Sometimes it would come in soup form or sprinkled onto the fish or meat that she serves. So, the food wasn’t as horrible as I had imagined.

Food was very important to me during this period as I am determined to breastfeed. I had to make sure that I was getting enough energy to produce good quality milk. Too much ginger and wine would be bad for the baby so I limit my consumption to only during lunch and dinner. I violated the rule of taking a nightcap (good for keeping the mother’s body warm at night) as I was afraid of getting a drunkard baby.

Breastfeeding took up most of my confinement time. I had to express the milk using an electric pump after failing to get a good yield using a manual one. However, as time goes by, the produce becomes less. It used to take half an hour for a bottle but now it’s down to only half a bottle in an hour! I still persevere, as I know mother’s milk is the best for my baby. I sometimes wish I had an extra breast so that there would be more milk for my baby. I can’t help but wonder why science has not created a way to mass-produce this good food. I am sure there could be a way to increase the hormones which induce the milk production. I also wonder why entrepreneurs have yet to make money out of selling mother’s milk. Since it is so precious, I am sure many mothers who fail to express milk would want their child to have it. Hubby has also wondered why cows are able to produce so much milk consistently. He wondered if gravity was a factor and asked me if I was willing to let him try milking me! Thank goodness he made an effort to make me laugh because stress could affect milk production.

One of the less tolerable confinement taboo would be bathing and hair washing. I was confined to only wiping my smelly, sweaty body with warm ginger water. Ginger water will help eliminate wind from my frail body and avoid ailments. Washing my hair was a definite no-no for the whole month. Poor Hubby has to put up with the stench reeking from my dandruff filled head! I could see a tinge of delight in his eyes during Bryan’s full moon when I was finally allowed to wash my hair. The hairdresser did a good job with my hair, but they too had funny rituals. They requested 2 ang pows, one for the lady who wash my hair and another for the salon owner. The former one is understandable, as it is already a torture to wash and blow-dry a head full of thick and natural curly hair, now she has to endure one that has gone unwashed for a month! I find the latter quite unreasonable. Reluctantly, I presented them with the ang pows, (incidentally the salon owner has a lot of ang pow packets in her drawer!!) as I did not want to cause a scene in the busy salon.

Another taboo/advice was to sleep a lot. Even if I don’t literally sleep, I had to lie on my back especially after food. Too much standing or walking around will slow down the healing process and weaken my feeble body. Sitting is still considered not good enough, as this would hurt my back. Being bedridden ensures that I don’t get backaches during my retirement years. I thought had no problem with this, as sleeping is my favorite pass time. However, having nothing to do for too long rendered my mind restless. I had to do something as I had so much free time in my hands. After all, I was taught that,“An idle mind is the devil’s workshop”. I began miss my friends and getting out of the house. I felt as though I was isolated from the rest of the world. The only access to the real world was through the television, my room window, the telephone and of course the internet. I miss my computer and emails so much that I defied this taboo for a couple of hours a day to access my emails, read the news, chat with my friends, transfer funds and paid the various utility bills. I now understand why Bill Gates calls his creation, Windows! During this period, it was one of the most important windows to the world outside the four insipid walls of my home!!

Aunty will be leaving tomorrow, marking the end of my confinement period. As I sigh with relieve and wave goodbye to all the taboos and rituals, I am a little saddened by the fact that it would also mean the end to my “freedom”, the closing of all windows to the world for the time being. The only window left open will my heart to cater to all Bryan’s needs. I would have to be a full time mother from now until the end of my maternity leave. So, this would be my last installment. With all the things I have to do, I would not be able to churn out a good read. I might return, after all the dust has settled, when mother in law is comfortable with babysitting Bryan. Meanwhile, I have go and express more milk. Till the next bulletin, good-bye and thank you for reading.