The stress releasor

I went for a stress management class recently. My boss appreciates me enough to acknowledge that I do have a lot of work and think that I should attend this class. That's positive thinking. The negative sentense to the same thought sounds like this, "My boss thinks that I am not handling my work well enough and thus creating a lot of stress for myself and sends me to this class to learn a thing or two to increase my performance."

Much like the "secret", which I discussed in my previous blog, this class emphasis the importance of positive thinking...Positive thinking is stressed over and over again as one of the main stress reliever. To change your state of mind is the basic step to overcome stress.

One of the exercises was to ask you to write down what your average day look, sounds, feel like. This is what I wrote:

"I wake up rested to the sound of my mother in law fussing over my son's getting ready to go to school. I go to work with the sun in my eyes, the sound of traffic horns and busy policemen in sight. I step into the office to hear the frantic buzzing of ringing phones and constant chattering of some busy colleagues. As I sit down, the dull drone of my slow PC fills my ears and I continue working to churn out solutions after solutions to help ease my customers with their daily manual processes. I return home to the smell of my mother in law's cooking and the hustle and bustle of the TV and my son playing."

The trainer asked me to read out my passage and she in turn change all those into negative forms.

"I wake up barely rested to the sound of my son, fussing and refusing to go to school again. My grumbling mother in law is not helping and my husband is complaining that his shirts are not ironned. I set out to work to find a horrendous traffic jam and the stupid policemen are not doing anything about it. I curse and honked at the cars beside me because there are a lot of donkeys behind the wheels. As I reached the office, the phones have already started ringing, signalling that there are more problems to be reported to me. I see colleagues running late for meetings while swearing loudly. I sit down wondering when my slow PC is ever going to produce the results which my screaming customers are already waiting for. I return home exhausted but I am forced to eat my mother in law's cooking. My couch potato husband will watching TV while my son will be playing instead of working on his homework."

So you see, the scenario is basically the same, but the CHOICE of words that we use are pretty powerful. If we look at the scenario in a positive manner, it does seemed like a good life to live, doesn't it?

While we may question whether this is living in denial, the trainer says it's not self denial but a CHOICE. We CHOOSE to look at the beautiful and positive side of things because the easiest thing to change is within ourselves and we should take that first step to look into ourselves and make that change. What she's preaching is that we try to see the brighter side of things so that it's easier for us thread along this path called life....

Of course, this change in the state of mind doesn't solve the problems that we have, but at least it clears the mind of negative thoughts so that our emotional brain doesn't take over to make irrational decisions. It clears the way for our Rational brain to evaluate the problems and the possible solutions while not being cluttered with negative emotional thoughts. When our emotional brain gets a rest, and our rational mind is able to solve the problems systematically, then our stress level will reduce.

Hope the sharing of this quick tip (positive thinking) helps..

The Secret

The current buzz is all around "The Secret"....

The SECRET is OUT... everyone is talking about it...

What is it actually...?? Well, allow me to enlighten if you haven't already heard "The Secret". Rhonda Byrne, an Austrlian talkshow producer, discovered "the secret to the most powerful law in the universe" through a 100 year old book (The Science of Getting Rich, 1910 by Wallace D. Wattles). She captured all her findings in a book (and a film) to explain the secret to life where you can create unlimited happiness, joy, youth, love, health and prosperity.

While I haven't read the book nor watched the film, I can tell you a gist of the secret (*because everyone is talking about it and its even on Oprah!). It basically teaches you the "Law Of Attraction". What Rhonda wants to tell us is... "if you are thinking about how bad your life is, bad things will continue to happen; if you start thinking about great things, they will inevitably manifest." Rhonda explains that by POSITIVE THINKING will make your gloomy life brighter because once you think positive, it will attract the intergalactic forces of nature to work its way magically to give you whatever you wish for...

Ummm... let me forewarn that there are also writers ("The Secret: Ten Problems I Have with Rhonda Byrne's Best Seller" by Charlie Campbell and "The Secret Promotes 'Name It-Claim It' Theology" by Don Whitney) who ran into problems when they practised Rhonda's Secrets. I have also been warned by people who practices these so call "secret" to BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR.... because while your wishes may come true, you do not know how the intergalactic forces of nature works and it may grant your wishes in the most unimaginable way and bring unforeseen and unwanted consequences. An example quoted by "<cant remember the name, will update when I find it> " is; a poor couple practised the secret and wished for some money and the next thing they know, their child is dead and they get to claim a sum of money from his insurance. Sounds grim, doesn't it?

I am an optimistic person and while I agree that positive thinking is good, I am worried that people may take this Secret thing a bit too far. For example, are we saying those who are starving, isn't thinking about food hard enough or those in war-ridden or poverty-plagued countries isn't fantasizing about "blue skies and everything nice" with enough enthusiasm? I worry about the younger generations thinking that now they don't even have to work for their wealth, as they can just have to sit back and dream it into existence.

The point I am getting at is simple. Don't overdo with this secret thingy. We need to question ourselves, "Are we matured enough, both emotionally and mentally, if we are empowered with "THE GREAT POWER OF THE UNIVERSE"? It's one thing to think positive and another thing to RELY ONLY on positive thinking. You have to work towards the goals you set or the dreams you dream. Yes, the good things in live will manifest but you still need to do something about it instead of just sitting down there doing nothing but dream. Heed the wise words of Uncle Ben (Spiderman), "With great powers comes great responsibilities."

While I don't deny the power of "The Secret", I would prefer the teachings to tells us that we have the CHOICE to POSITIVE thinking and whether we WANT TO BE HAPPY depends entirely on us. I mean, it's obvious that threading on with our lifes with a positive outlook is always easier than a negative one. We can choose to dwell in anger and other negative activities but it's OUR CHOICE to snap out of it and channel that negative energy to something POSITIVE. I know it's not easy to just snap out of it so that's why I say it's OUR CHOICE; you can choose to be in any state you want because only you know best when you are ready (emotionally, mentally and physically) to switch from the negative to positive state of mind. This is no secret nor will it guarantee joy, health, wealth or whathever Rhonda Byrne promised in her book, but at least it will help make our lives a little easier to thread on. Don't you think so? (Oh...You better agree with me or Rhonda Byrne will say you're not POSITIVE enough, ha ha.)

Have a great positive week ahead!

Here's the official "The Secret" website for your reference. Sounds interesting but take everything with a pinch of salt. After all, it's your choice.

http://www.thesecret.tv/